We’re living in a white man’s world, they set the laws, the tone etc…for nearly everything. Edited and added: [(NOT ALL WHITE MEN)] don’t mean to be rude…js…”Here’s the truth of it: The average Joe living in Alabama in 1950 who loved the cute country girl did NOT have the power as an individual to change laws and social hierarchies that were established before he was even born.
Tom is Mississippi did not have the power to NOT get fired from his job for having a black wife and half-black kids at home.
I am especially grateful to have the opportunity to hear from pastors’ wives since much of my focus is on pastors.
I guess that’s why I told my wife I loved her on our second date. But it wasn’t that she wasn’t giving me love, it just seemed to come at different times. I don’t think I noticed this consciously for a while. And after each time, there would be this look she would give me. It wasn’t something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving. And how much I’m sure those messages are bouncing around in other people’s heads as well. Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives. And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated. Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her. Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more. It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long. Why wasn’t I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married? From Disney movies to my favorite shows like “The Office” to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we’re married.Its funny cuz many will accuse bw of partnering with wm to escape their blackness. Many bw partner with wm in attempt to BECOME more black by ‘recruiting’ said wm to The Cause.They are trying to CONVERT wm into the religion of black suffering since they couldnt find the black one they hoped would lead in that area.There are MANY pros for dating/courting/marrying/mating/partnering with black women. My suggestion to wm who are looking for a black woman to love would be to make sure she is not using you in some strange reverse Black Love scheme – where she gets to live out her Race-First SJW imperative, not by fighting “the system’ in abstract, but by using her influence to convert a single white man for the cause.It is NOT your responsibility to center your primary love relationship around race politics. Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel.Jimmy-Joe did not have the power to keep the Klu Klux Klan from burning crosses on his lawn for being a “n*gger lover.” Individual white men did not have any special powers to magically make all that stuff go away.But often there’s this judgement and lack of historical contextualizing black women engage in whenever we have these discussions.Its one thing to want your non-blk man to be awake and aware of the challenges that race implications create in society.But to expect white men to start eating off the Black Struggle Plate just to ‘prove’ their devotion to us is insane and disingenuous.