Although I'm a friendly person, I'm definitely on the shy side about making the first move.
All you braver ladies out there who can do it, I salute you.
American culture raises children to be fiercely independent and to look out for ‘number one’.Then these boys grow up and are exposed to the opposite sex in an abrupt, often sexualized way. This is definitely seen in how they treat not only women, but everyone around them.The consequence of this is a lack of understanding of women, a lack of comfort and often, a lack of respect. There is a courtesy, consideration, chivalry and thoughtfulness in how they act, behave and engage with others.You may have noticed that most of the dating escapades I tell you about are of the online persuasion.Which is fine, and I'll continue to try that angle, but it would be nice once in a while to just meet a guy the old-fashioned way, right? Not an arranged marriage or anything.)But I never quite know how to make it happen.I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…There are a set of ritualized rules that are abided by in American dating culture, and if you don’t play within them, you are labeled as desperate or needy or undesirable.But for those of us that are a little more reserved, how do you get the guys to come to you?In order to figure out how to make things happen off the Internet, I spoke to expert Adam Lo Dolce, who gives advice to both men and women as "The Dating Confidence Coach".